Absurd Headlines

Quran Burning

2010-09-10T11:37:00.000-07:00

Poor dumb assed pastor. For heavens sake the book of muslim has nothing to do with idiots.. No different than any of our idiotic books. I think this dope is just looking for a way to publicize his stupid bunch of bigots. Again, thanks to the American media for giving another fool the publicity he so craves...

Packers GM, coach say team won't release Favre

2008-07-13T07:28:00.000-07:00

Uh... Heartless aren't they? Come on Brett, take your millions and enjoy life. You got out when you should have, leave it at that.

Clinton adviser says Obama's economic address is 'just words'

2008-03-27T09:43:00.000-07:00

Holy, shit, just words. Now that says it. "Just Words"? I'm sure that the Madam Queen has all the answers and the situation would right itself instantly if she were elected "Queen of State". What a GD farce, all of them are.

Bush signs bill boosting fuel standards

2007-12-19T09:21:00.000-08:00

Yes he did. The kicker is that the bill requires this by 2022. That's 13 years from now. Politicians in this country have no scruples whatsoever. All they care about is what the headlines say. Think about it, in 13 years the Arabs/Chinese will own us and the MPG of vehicles will make no difference.

Why can't we lower that to 2012, then it might make a difference. I'll tell you why, I call it Politician Ownership and every one of them is owned by someone, that's the only way to get elected in this country. The media has to do it and that costs a lot of money to run ads lying to the people. I have my doubts if there is a statesman in this country anymore. All of our elected officials are owned by someone.

Iran hands IAEA nuclear blueprints

2007-11-13T15:53:00.000-08:00

VIENNA, Austria - Iran has met a key demand of the U.N. nuclear agency, handing over long-sought blueprints showing how to mold uranium metal into the shape of warheads, diplomats said Tuesday.

Yep, and my aunt Matilda is a sword swallower. Can you spell Xerox machine? How GD stupid can anyone get? I guess I don't understand international relations.

Dems question latest anti-war strategy

2007-11-09T17:09:00.000-08:00

Well now, so does every other American with a brain in their head. Support the troops folks, it's working over there. Talk to a service man.

Bin Laden: Moussaoui Not Linked to 9/11

2006-05-23T14:48:00.000-07:00

No shit!!! Who in the hell cares what Bin Laden says, except our American media that is. Why should we believe anything this criminal says? In fact I refuse to read the story because the headline pissed me off.

Pink Taco Restaurant Name Causes Stir

2006-05-16T06:35:00.000-07:00

SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. - The name of a new restaurant in Scottsdale is stirring up some trouble. The Las Vegas-based Pink Taco Mexican Restaurant is scheduled to open its second location in downtown Scottsdale in June.

Nearly half a dozen people in the upscale city recently expressed their objection to the name, claiming it's a derogatory slang term for a portion of the female anatomy.

Oh for heavens sake. "Box" is also name for a female anatomy part too. So do we eliminate it from the English language. Get a life people, I eat a lot of pink tacos...(c;}

Plane Carrying Kennedy Hit by Lightning

2006-05-14T11:13:00.000-07:00

Maybe someone trying to tell asshole something. He even looks like a phony politician. Money made him a senator and stupidity keeps him in office.

O.J. Pulls White Bronco Prank on 'Juiced'

2006-05-12T17:49:00.000-07:00

Only in America can a wife beater/killer get away with this bullshit. American television is at a point where "it" will do anything to pull in advertising dollars. Why else would something like this be on the air and why in God's name would anyone want to watch such stupidity. Kills his wife and is now profiting from the crime by selling himself on TV. I used to, many years ago, admire OJ for making a go playing football but no longer. He's just a whore selling himself to the highest bidder and we buy the bullshit.

Top al-Qaida Leader Captured in Pakistan

2006-05-02T15:59:00.000-07:00

Ok, here's what I'd like to know. How in hell many "top" el qudiy" leaders are there? Are all the members top leaders. We keep capturing them and a new crop of "top leaders" keep popping up. Sure does stump me. Guess all you need is a beard and a funny lookin' overcoat.

Iran Threatens Israel if U.S. Attacks

2006-05-02T13:09:00.000-07:00

TEHRAN, Iran - A top Revolutionary Guards commander said Tuesday that Israel would be Iran's first retaliatory target if attacked by the United States.

Gen. Mohammad Ebrahim Dehghani also said Israel was not prepared to go war against Iran. President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has repeatedly spoken out against Israel and threatened to wipe it "off the map."

Israeli elder statesman Shimon Peres called on Iran to scrap its nuclear program and warned: "Remember that Israel is exceptionally strong and knows how to defend itself."

Careful asshole, Israel held it's fire when the idiot in Iraq said the same thing. I'd not count on them doing it again. There'd not be enough of Iran left for the poor fool to talk about. Maybe it's time for Israel to make a few preemptive strikes.

Al-Zawahri Says U.S. 'Broken' in Iraq

2006-04-29T09:57:00.000-07:00

CAIRO, Egypt - The U.S. military has only seen "loss, disaster and misfortune" in Iraq, al-Qaida's No. 2 said, in a video message that a U.S. official deemed part of a propaganda campaign to demonstrate the terror network's relevancy.

I got a really cool idea. Why doesn't the American press give these idiots some more publicity? They say this bullshit just to get in the newspapers and on TV. The media in its feeding frenzy will put any old bullshitter on the air under the guise of it being news. Al-Zhitintheface is once again blowing shit from both nostrils, and the media is "eating" it up. Pure absurdity....plain and simple.

Chevron Latest Oil Co. With Colossal Earnings

2006-04-28T10:09:00.000-07:00

Now here's a shocking piece of information. Nothing like smiting us with the obvious..4 billion for the 1st quarter.. not a bad piece of change is it?

Iran Expected to Miss UN Deadline

2006-04-28T06:15:00.000-07:00

Wonderful and earth shaking news!! Love them headlines.

Sure they will

2006-04-27T12:27:00.000-07:00

TEHRAN, April 26 — Iran's supreme religious leader vowed Wednesday that Iran would retaliate "twofold" if it were attacked by the United States over its refusal to comply with demands regarding its nuclear activities. He made his comments as other senior Iranians traveled to Vienna just days ahead of the deadline for international monitors to report on Iran's nuclear program.

Sure they will. What will they do? Throw oil cans at us. Just a batch of snot blowing from the ass holes. I actually think I insult that part of the anatomy when I call them that. What's the next worse thing? If an attack is done the way it should be there won't be enough muslims left in Iran to attack anyone or anything. This won't happen though because we have to be politically correct and tell them we're coming, just like we did for Hussein. Don't say a word, just send a battalian of fighter jets, missles and drones with stingers in there and make a lot of giant holes in the friggin ground. No more problem with nuclear weapons.. They ain't got um and probably never will.. JMHO..

Sure They Can

2006-04-26T15:36:00.000-07:00

WASHINGTON (AP) - The simplest grammar, long thought to be one of the skills that separate man from beast, can be taught to a common songbird, new research suggests.

I'm glad it can be taught to a common songbird, because I've read many articles recently that could use some of that there grammar improvement. Students today have very few grammar skills and in many school districts it isn't even in the curriculum...Many say it's for the birds. (c:}